MY LIFE LATELY: Self Love

I'm typing this right now not knowing what to write next. Maybe I should share to you about my life lately. If you'd care to know. This is not about the clothes that I wear, the look I'm serving or a hotel review. This is about me and you, reconnecting.

Before I start my story, I just want to know more about you, my dear reader. How are you? What keeps you motivated lately? Message me or comment down below. Let's talk about it. I'd love to know.

Should I start my story from a year ago? If you're a reader of this blog since my first post, you'd probably know about my likes, pain and hopeless romantic thoughts. I'm a dreamer and a believer. I make unrealistic stories in my mind and believing that one day it will happen.

If you're a new reader, Hello, you're most welcome here. I'm Danica Daryl D. Caduco. My family calls me Nikka, and Danica when they're angry. (I want to laugh here but how? Okay. Hahaha) My closest friends call me Nica, Dada or Dani but you can call me whatever you want. How about you? What should I call you? As far as I could still remember, my Mom named me Daryl which means "my only one" and Danica basically came from my Dad's name Danny. My colleague (he's Indian) told me that my name Danica means "rich" in their language. Not rich in money and wealth but characteristics and personality wise. Let me know if that's true or he's just making me feel better.


Woah! That's a long introduction. Anyways, let's talk about the real deal here. I just want to share to you how I overcome my own thoughts. Weird? Weird!

Two years ago, I woke up from my darkest nightmare. I decided to regain myself. Sometimes, when emotions and feelings over power us, we became the lost leaf that goes with the flow in the wild waves of the ocean. You can't say no because of the made up fantasies in your head. Regaining yourself is not just about forgetting and letting go of the pain but facing and overcoming it. That battle was tough but I conquered it. You know what am I talking about here? Yes, that was about the toxic relationship that I've been through. I just don't want to bring up the whole story because I'm okay now. I am myself again.

That's when I realized that the battle is not yet over. That was just a beginner's round. When someone had taken you for granted, you'll lost everything. It felt like all of the insecurities punched me. I became so down and felt like a little piece of rock in a huge wild forest. Am I that ugly? Maybe I'm fat? Am I not enough? Nobody will like me for sure. Those are just the basics and the list goes on. What do you think is the best way to do whenever we feel so small? I want to know your thoughts.

Six moths ago, I was struggling with sleepless nights and negative mind. I was stressing over the future instead of living my life now. Yes, plans are great but too much thinking about it may ruin the chances of today. I'm working full time as an Admin Staff/Secretary in an Engineering Company. On weekends, I am working on creative contents for my blog site and YouTube channel. I'm also invited in some of social events in town, so whenever I have vacant time, I'm going for it. There were days that I feel so motivated and creative ideas are bombing my head but most of the time, I'm stuck in bed. Unmotivated. I procrastinate a lot. I honestly don't know what to do with my life right now. On what to pursue or what to let go. I'm overthinking and scared on what my life would look like in ten years. Will I get to enjoy my dream job? Will I get to marry my right person? Will I reach my goals? Seriously, I don't know. My anxieties drowned me; pulling my self into a dark deep hole. Depression hit me without me knowing what's really happening. I'm so scared to share it to anyone because I thought they might judge me for being over reacting. Not until I was called to share during our SFC National Conference. I vent out everything not just to Him but to my brothers and sisters in the community. I was all out for Him without hesitation. That made me feel better and so far, I am me again. My jolly, enthusiastic self.

This post is a bit long already so I want to end this with some motivational thoughts from me. I just want you to know that everything happens for a reason. Trust in His plans and you'll end up great. Surrender everything to Him and you'll be saved. Someone told me before that every person is seasonal in our lives. People come and go. If you haven't heard from those friends of yours three years ago, then their season in your life has ended. It's easy as that. All you have to do is to treat that season as a lesson. If you feel unmotivated, find inspiration to others and push yourself to keep going. You do you. If you're like me who's frightened by the idea of your future, focus on today. If it's not yet your time to bloom, then enjoy the process of growth. Everyone has troubles, not just me nor you. I know this is hard to believe for those who are battling depression and anxiety but please keep the faith. To those who knows a friend who are struggling, take time to listen and give them a hug. That good deed won't hurt a little.  ♥

p.s photos attached doesn't have any significance with the thought of my post, but for me, makeup and dressing up is therapeutic in times of losing my self-esteem. It made me feel beautiful and empowered by self-love. 

 Thank you so much for dropping by.

Love,

d a n i  ♥